Give us this day, our daily bread

Give us this day, our daily bread. 

"Thank you, didi" I heard 13 times in 30 seconds as we sat together in the study room. These children are so well mannered, so this is a phrase we hear regularly. However, this time it stirred something different inside of me. 

I don't travel without sour gummy worms, it's pretty much tradition to bring them to Nepal. When we pulled them out of the bag to share, the children just sat still. They did not fight to be first or even assume that it was for them. As we called each by name and asked if they wanted one, they said yes as they cupped their hands out in front of them. As the gummy worm hit each little set of hands, the words "thank you, didi" were quickly said. It was interesting as we watched each child carefully and slowly eat their candy. How often I grab a couple gummy worms and pop them in my mouth within a matter of seconds. The children savored it as big smiles were plastered across their face. When they finished, they continued smiling and playing. Nobody assumed they would get another one or felt entitled to our snacks. We began calling them by name and offering another to them. Again, "thank you, didi" was said through a big smile. 

I am constantly learning about the Lord and myself when I spend time with these sweet children. 

I wonder what would happen if I approached the Lord the way these kids did with our gummy worms. If I sat quietly, watching him, waiting patiently. They know that we always share our candy with them, but they did not assume they were theirs to grab. 

As the Lord offers me gifts, do I graciously cup my hands out before him, quickly offering thanks when I receive it? or am I quick to want more than he gave or something different than he offered me? 

Do I savor the gifts and respond with joy as a I experience them?

Am I patiently waiting in joyful anticipation for the next gift? or am I demanding more before others even get a chance to experience the first one?

May I take a posture of thanksgiving, patience and joy. 

May I receive my daily bread with a heart of praise, trusting that the Lord will provide tomorrow's daily bread in his time. 

It's a Who, Not a Where.

       Three years ago, I had the opportunity to intern at a church in Lees Summit called New Beginnings Church of the Nazarene. When I began interning, I had no idea how this place was going to affect me. I knew about 10 people when I began attending and interning. My aunt was a Pastor on staff, so her and my uncle were counted in that 10. About five months after being there, my aunt transitioned into a different role that was no longer at New Beginnings. Honestly, it was really hard at first, but these people worked really hard to make me feel like I was part of them. I “left” New Beginnings in January. I was just shy of being there for three years. 

        I have realized in recent days, hours actually, that New Beginnings is not a place you can leave. Sure, I left the pastoral staff and regular attendance in the physical building. However, New Beginnings is a people, not a place. They are a body that does not exclude and calls you theirs even if you are not physically present in the daily functions. I have known these people are not normal (in the best way possible), but today showed it to me even more. I told a few people today that the way the entire body of the church offers pastoral care is not normal. One of the most beautiful things is that they have no idea. One person said, "It's not?" Another said, "What else would we do?" It is ingrained into the fabric of who they are. It inspires me.

I see New Beginnings as a people who:

·         Took in a college kid and made it known to her that she was family.

·         Follows Jesus and seeks to give him space to work in and through them.

·         Serves the neighborhood.

·         Value children and youth as vital parts of the Church body.

·         Offer care to those who are sick and hurting.

·         Throw baby showers, wedding showers and celebrations for people who need to be celebrated!

·         Offer to watch each other’s children and live into the fullness of community.

·         Gathered in a hospital room this morning and offered presence as a grieving mother told her daughters that their dad passed away. They remained there until mom was ready to leave.

·         Walked in front of, behind and beside the grieving mom as she walked out of the hospital for the first time into a new normal.

·         Immediately began organizing and working to offer care to this family in the coming days—without missing a beat.

·         Took on the job of pulling together the graduation parties for  mom and two daughters this weekend.

·         Have offered to clean toilets, mow yards and prepare meals.

·         Gathered as a body this evening and lifted the family up in prayer.

·         Strap their baby on the front of them as they kneel at the altar and pray.

·         Return to the altar to pray with a seven year old as he kneels following the example his mom set before him.

·         Believe in the power of prayer.

These are people that follow Jesus, love fiercely, serve passionately and give selflessly. I'm honored to be a part of this family called New Beginnings. My heart is broken, sad and grieving with the family that lost their dad/husband unexpectedly this morning. At the same time, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for the people that are willing to hold this family in their arms and carry them through these dark and difficult days.

Please keep Michelle, McKenzie, Mikayla, Christen, Emily and Luke in your prayers as they mourn the loss of dad/husband, Patrick.

There is Light in the Darkness

This past week has been filled with high anxiety. I am honestly not sure what is triggering the anxiety, but it has been more prevalent than ever before. I have felt really challenged to continually give it to the Lord. It has not been magic, it has not gone away, but I do know the Creator hears me when I talk to him. Anxiety is based in fear. I have a lot of fears. I have fear of the present, of the future, over silly things and things that greatly affect my life. It is a daily battle to give my fear to the Lord. I do not think my fears have changed this week, but I do know that I am physically feeling the affects of that fear this week. I have been holding tightly to the scripture found in 2 Timothy 1:7 that reads, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." This scripture holds so much encouragement for me.

As I was making space on my phone today (which seems to be a daily task), I stumbled upon a note I had made a couple months ago. At New Beginnings, I had the privilege of serving with our youth. These teens are some of the best people I know and I cannot wait to see the ways the Lord continues to lead them. They have shaped and formed me more than they will ever know. The note was from a night of conversation with them. I do not remember who was speaking that night and what exactly we were talking about. I do, however, remember exactly what I felt when she said it. 

My note read:

What does it mean to you when you hear the phrase "Jesus bring us from death to life when we accept him."

One of our sweet sixth graders response was what I needed today.

She said, "It means he makes the dark days a little lighter." 

Praise God that the dark days are not pitch black. They may be dark, but the Lord does not walk away. He does not abandon us. Sometimes it feels like there is a pile of rocks covering the hole, but if I look for the light, it's there. It might be coming through a tiny slit between the rocks, but without fail it is always there. It may come through a smile, the sound of kids laughing, encouragement from a friend, sunshine, flowers blooming or a good cup of coffee and a book. I think sometimes I forget to look. When you are looking for something, there is always a chance it won't be there or it will not look like how I want it to. Seeking and looking for something wholeheartedly brings you to this place of trusting that it will follow through. Maybe it is hard to believe there is light because that one person who promised they would never leave, is the same person who is constantly falling through on their word. This week I am choosing to posture myself in a place that is seeking the light and trusting that it's there even when I do not feel it.

Though I often forget, Jesus is not like that. When I am seeking Jesus and trusting that he will be there, then "he makes the dark days a little lighter."