Be still.

Silence. I don't like it much when I am alone. It's uncomfortable. It's vulnerable. It's necessary.

 I recently heard someone say that silence is not created. Silence exists always we just have to find it. This has really had me thinking. I choose not to find the silence because I do not like to be alone with myself...but I'm working on it. This semester I am taking a class called Spiritual Formation. We practice a few minutes of silence each time we start class. It was really hard at first, but it has progressively gotten easier. Today, I saw the fruit of this practice.

We went to the arboretum today for class. We got a little handout that gave some tips to help us focus on silence and then our professor sent us on our way. At first, we all walked together in one giant clump talking. However, once we came to a fork in the road we had a choice and the group split. I started walking to the right because one of my friends said that there was a waterfall and I enjoy looking at waterfalls so why not. On our way to the waterfall I was just praying that I would be able to focus, be still and hear the Lord. Once we got to the waterfall we talked for a second and then it was just like the Spirit of God fell on that place...at least that's how it felt for me.



I just stood there breathing, listening and staring at the water. I could see myself in the waterfall. I could see myself as the water just constantly moving and going, making a path wherever I go and flowing over things. I also see myself as the rock. I'm just sitting there in the same spot  and the weight of the world, the water, just keeps pouring over me. I'm soaked, starting to be worn away in some places and I'm just there. On the handout we got, it  had this little section with scripture on it. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God." Each time you read it you take away one word. I started taking a deep breath and whispering:
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know that I.
Be still and know that.
Be still and know.
Be still and.
Be still.
Be.

In a matter of seconds my perspective was changed. I have been self absorbed to the point that I could not even think outside of myself when I was looking at the waterfall. Both comparisons put poor little me as the subject. In this moment, I felt like God was saying you are the rock but look at me. You. are. not. looking. at. ME.

I am the rock, we are the rocks in this waterfall of life.  BUT God is the water. My eyes have been so focused on the worldly things, the things that are dragging me down and tearing me up.  But the Lord is asking me to keep my eyes on him, to be still and know that HE is God. The water is love, grace and mercy that flows out of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I can keep my eyes on the things of this world or I can choose to look at the one who is already covering me with his love. When I focus on the worldly things as the water, I see the places that the rocks are eroding as brokenness and hopelessness. When I see the water as God flowing over me, I see the places where the rock has eroded as transformation and healing of the broken places. My heart left this place filled with peace and joy.

Today, hear these words from our Lord :: Be still and know that I am God.

Love Language.

When you receive a gift from me it often has to do with spending time with me. I would rather invest in our relationship through time then give you another thing to add to a shelf. I do enjoy giving gifts of material things, just not too often. 

Our investment in relationship matters. The way I feel love and often express it is through quality time. There are other ways to feel and express love through your "love languages": gifts, touch, service and affirmation. There is not one that is more right than the other. It varies by person. Mine is quality time -- emphasis on quality. 

I feel love when I spend quality time with others. 

There are quite a few relationships in my life that I am currently struggling in. The other party doesn't feel like we have to spend quality time together to communicate love. However, I am on this side feeling rejected and inadequate. Especially when it feels like I have to beg them to spend time with me. Obviously, it is unrealistic to never spend time separate from those you are in relationship with. There has to be a balance. 

Someone whose love language is quality time needs to spend time with those they love. They need others to CHOOSE to spend time with them without the quality timer having to force it.  

Quality time is not:: always being on your phone in conversation, bringing other people along, trying to multi task or other things that divide your attention.

Quality time is:: focused attention, making time for them, choosing them, listening, have meaningful conversation and many more expressions. 

We often express love in the same ways that we need it. Those who do not need quality time often do not understand and forget that someone else may need this.

The best way to fill someone's love tank is to invest in their love language.