Vulnerable.

Today is day 8 of my 7 journey.

These words are a reflection of day three....5 days late.

Last Monday night as I was doing my devotions, I really felt like the Lord was telling me that I needed to practice being still and position myself to be a better listener. My devotion was saying that we say that we want our relationship with Christ to be first and most important, yet we do not put in time and effort that reflects that. I know that I get so busy talking and being busy that I do not spend a lot of time being still in his presence. As I was going to sleep I prayed and asked the Lord to help me be still and listen for his voice. I prayed that I would acknowledge the voice of God and really seek him throughout my day Tuesday....little did I know what the day would bring.

Rewind: The past two months the Lord has been teaching me a lot about being vulnerable. More so that I really suck at being vulnerable. The shallow, easy stuff is way less messy.


Tuesday: These two things collided. In my preaching class we have been sharing our call to ministry. Most people were really personal and vulnerable in their stories. I shared my super short and to the point story. I did not really share anything past surface level. I had some things to say past surface level, but I didn’t do it. When I finished I had this feeling telling me I was not done. When everyone finished, I spoke up and asked Dr. Dunn if I could share a little something else. I had this huge burden lifted from me after I shared a vulnerable truth that the Lord had given me about my call. It did not take long for me to realize that in that moment God was answering the prayer that I had prayed on Monday night. I was reminded of chapel Tuesday morning and the story of Habukkuk. I expected God would answer it in a certain way instead of just committing this request to him and listening to him when he answered in his timing. I was embarrassed with myself that I had prayed, asked and received, yet when I received I fought it off long before I accepted his gift to me. The Lord spoke to me even when it felt like an inconvenient time. His timing is perfect and he is faithful.