When you receive a gift from me it often has to do with spending time with me. I would rather invest in our relationship through time then give you another thing to add to a shelf. I do enjoy giving gifts of material things, just not too often.
Our investment in relationship matters. The way I feel love and often express it is through quality time. There are other ways to feel and express love through your "love languages": gifts, touch, service and affirmation. There is not one that is more right than the other. It varies by person. Mine is quality time -- emphasis on quality.
I feel love when I spend quality time with others.
There are quite a few relationships in my life that I am currently struggling in. The other party doesn't feel like we have to spend quality time together to communicate love. However, I am on this side feeling rejected and inadequate. Especially when it feels like I have to beg them to spend time with me. Obviously, it is unrealistic to never spend time separate from those you are in relationship with. There has to be a balance.
Someone whose love language is quality time needs to spend time with those they love. They need others to CHOOSE to spend time with them without the quality timer having to force it.
Quality time is not:: always being on your phone in conversation, bringing other people along, trying to multi task or other things that divide your attention.
Quality time is:: focused attention, making time for them, choosing them, listening, have meaningful conversation and many more expressions.
We often express love in the same ways that we need it. Those who do not need quality time often do not understand and forget that someone else may need this.
The best way to fill someone's love tank is to invest in their love language.
No comments:
Post a Comment